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Friendships or NOT The Harsh one I’ve kept it very close to the original feeling and flow, while making it readable and removing names. A post from someone I had become friendly with through a spiritual group. Long story short, I thought I had connected with one person, but ended up becoming friendly with someone else instead. She was from another group and, over time, we developed what I thought was a friendship. I felt that I supported her when she was going through difficulties, including a legal issue involving one of her clients. I listened, encouraged, and was there for her. But looking back, it wasn’t reciprocal. There was no real reciprocity. When I was going through one of the most difficult periods of my life, dealing with my dad and everything else that was happening, there was very little support coming back my way. Anyway, I hadn’t contacted her for quite some time, and then recently she got in touch. She sent me a message and my immediate thought was, “I wonder what she wants?” Sure enough, after a vague “How are you?” and “I hope you’re feeling better,” the real reason for contacting me emerged. She wanted me to circulate information about her course or programme. That was the real purpose of the contact. I hadn’t heard from her for ages, and then suddenly she appeared when she wanted something. I made no attempt to engage. I simply responded with a thumbs-up emoji. But despite all of that, it reminded me of something bigger. She represents a pattern that has repeated throughout my life. People who only seem to contact me when they need information, support, help, contacts, or something else from me. Otherwise, I rarely hear from them. What I realise now is that this is showing me something about what I have been attracting and accepting. I have attracted these one-sided relationships over and over again. People who are not really there for me. The universe is showing me something. It is reflective of my inner environment and, in some ways, my outer environment too. I have not fully created the earthly refuge, the sanctuary, the temple that I want around me or within me. That is the deeper realisation. The cycle has to stop. Because if it doesn’t stop here, it will continue into every area of life, including significant relationships. The same pattern will simply show up wearing a different face. So strangely, I am grateful for the reminder. The gesture itself gave me clarity. It reminded me to disengage from all of that. Not to react. Not to chase. Not to continue attracting or entertaining those kinds of people anymore, whether male or female. No more. I genuinely raise my hands and say, “No more.” I know I need to work on myself because making or breaking this pattern is part of shedding the old self. Everything is changing. So much of what once seemed important now feels immaterial, mundane, and unimportant. That includes certain people. I found myself thinking today that I have no friends. And that’s okay. Maybe that’s exactly as it needs to be right now. Because I am coming into my own. I am learning who I am. I am learning to choose differently. I am learning to stop investing in what has never truly served me. I am not doing that anymore. I was going to send a message, explain myself, make a point, say something. Then I realised I would only be wasting my time. The thumbs-up emoji was enough. And if she contacts me again, I may not even respond. The same goes for other time-wasters. I am done. Truly done. At some point, you have to put your money where your mouth is. If you say you’re finished with a pattern, then your actions have to reflect that. Enough is enough. The lesson has been learned. Now it is time to embark on a friendship with myself. These relationships are not fruitful. They are not worth investing in. They are not worth reaching for. You don’t stretch yourself to pick fruit that you already know is not nourishing. You wait for the right fruit. You choose what is healthy, reciprocal, and life-giving. As for the rest, forget them. This is it. This reads very much like a journal entry of realisation rather than a polished article, which I think captures the energy of what you were expressing in the moment.

Black Mental Health 2026 When Listening Matters More Than Speaking Reflections from a Black Mental Health Event A while back, I attended an event called Black Mental Health Community, focused on addressing inequalities affecting Black mental health and discussing how newly allocated funding might support meaningful change. The initiative has reportedly received £1.5 million over three years. While many of us agreed that this is not a huge amount when spread across multiple communities and projects, it was still encouraging to see targeted investment being directed towards an area that has long been overlooked. What stayed with me most, however, was not the funding itself — it was the conversations around it. During one discussion, someone asked why the funding needed to focus specifically on Black communities rather than simply being aimed at “people of colour” more broadly. I was genuinely surprised that this question still needed asking in 2026, especially given the extensive research showing the disproportionate mental health inequalities affecting Black communities, particularly Black men. From over-representation in prisons and psychiatric institutions to barriers within healthcare, education, and employment, these disparities are well documented. Targeted support is not about exclusion; it is about responding to specific and measurable inequalities. What made the moment even more sobering was discovering that some of the individuals asking these questions worked in public health. That concerned me deeply. Public health professionals often help shape policies, funding decisions, and community programme. If people in those positions still struggle to understand why Black-focused initiatives exist, it highlights a wider issue: systems cannot effectively support communities they do not fully understand. Another thing I noticed was how much talking was happening during the presentations themselves. Some attendees seemed more focused on side conversations than genuinely listening. And I kept thinking: perhaps if more people listened carefully to lived experiences, fewer of these questions would need to be asked in the first place. Ironically, once some people left early, the conversations became more grounded and constructive. Those who remained began discussing practical solutions, community-led approaches, and how resources could genuinely reach the people most affected. The day reminded me that progress requires more than funding. It requires humility, awareness, and a willingness to listen without defensiveness. Most importantly, it reinforced why Black voices must remain central in conversations about Black mental health. Because those closest to the problem are often closest to the solution.

This summer, I watched the epic film Sinners at South Bank IMAX — my very first IMAX experience — and what a way to begin. Directed by Ryan Coogler, the film is nothing short of a masterpiece.

Reconnect with your food—and yourself through a deeper, sensory-rich experience. Mindful eating guides you to slow down, become curious, and fully inhabit each moment at the table.

Men’s health can be Linked to their biological system, caused by hormones specific to males. Associated to that,
social Stigma tends to mould men into superheroes. In fact, men’s are more likely to make unhealthy and risky choices and less likely to seek help.

Self awareness is one’s ability to understand, decipher and perceive his/ her own personality, values, actions and thoughts. It is about knowing oneself in its deeper sense. Knowing oneself or being self- aware is a process in which everyone should engage to maintain a strong relationship with others. The more you are self aware, the more you grow your inner champion.

Mental health is the capacity of every individual to
feel, think and act in ways that enhance their ability
to enjoy life and deal with challenges. Mental health is common to all
human beings, it is not shameful.

Reconnect with your food—and yourself through a deeper, sensory-rich experience. Mindful eating guides you to slow down, become curious, and fully inhabit each moment at the table.